Nessie – The Aquatic Joke

I have never lived in a lake, nor called the fertile hills of Scotland my home.  I have never raised my slender serpentine neck from amidst the chilled depths of a hundred fathoms only to be gawked at by the random tourists that are my central foes.  And for those reasons, and perhaps those alone, [...]

Black Friday Ads – FREE PLASMA TV WITH COUPON

That’s right shoppers, Black Friday 2009 is shaping up to be the most amazing sales event in recent memory. Stores such as Wal-Mart, Best Buy and Target have already leaked Black Friday Ads in an attempt to get shoppers as stoked as possible before actual sales are even announced.
Check out some of the AMAZING DEALS [...]

The Mothman – One Scary Insect!!!

Sometimes nature makes a mistake.  It doesn’t try. 

If I were to tell you there was a creature whose name was made up of two words, “MOTH” and “MAN”, you would probably laugh at me, and then most likely drag me kicking and screaming into the street and repeatedly stone me until my battered corpse resembled little more [...]

Chupacabra – Best Monster Ever!!!!!

Somewhere south of the Mexican-American border an evil lurks in the shadows of la noche.  A beast so cunning, so bloodthirsty, so merciless in its total and utter disregard for human life that it was given a name that would always and forever strike fear in the hearts of chicos locos from Chivas to Guadalajara.  [...]

www.google.com – A Memoir

Why write about the world’s most prolific search engine?  Why write about the multi-billion dollar nano-techno industry leading website in the known universe?  Why?!?  Why you ask??? Because I can.
I use www.google.com a lot.  I use it often.  I use it on a daily basis.  I use it more than my toothbrush, or soap, or [...]

Furless Bears Attack!!!

As if being attacked by a bear, nature’s overweight, sharp-clawed death beast of the forest, wasn’t bad enough.  Imagine being attacked by one with no fur.
That’s right!  Bears, long thought to follow a strict moral code that consisted of eating lean meats, resting for months at a time, never traveling to Vegas without loved ones in [...]

2012 – The End of the Calendar!!!!

The world is always supposed to end.  Mankind writes stories, stories have endings.  Thus the story of mankind must have an end, right?
And so the newest disaster simply foaming at the mouth to show up on the scene and kick the crap out of humanity is none other than a year, 2012.
That’s right friends, no [...]

Obama School Speech

President Barack Obama is planning to give a motivational speech to students across the nation next week.  His speech is aimed at encouraging students to set goals for themselves, to take their education seriously, to aim high and strive to achieve great things.
But many students will never hear his words.
Many schools will never air his [...]

Best Jobs in the US

Many people work.  Many of those people hate their jobs.
Many humans dread the soul-sucking drudgery that is the very means to their existence.  The lifeblood to their addiction to hooch, snuff, twinkies, diet Coke, and all the rest.
Man was not born to work.  He was born to rule, or at least to believe that the [...]

The Jersey Devil – World’s Worst Monster

History, or perhaps man, has produced monsters since the dawn of time.
The Hydra
The Werewolf
Dracula
The Loch Ness Monster
Bigfoot
Creatures of such mythic lore, that to actually debate their  existence is as trivial as questioning the rights of Southern Malaysian pygmies to eat the magic eggs of the largest meerkat in the village.
These creatures exist.  And they rock.  And [...]