Brett Favre Returns to NFL!!!

Brett Favre is back! Or is he? Or isn’t he?

Only a few short months after claiming that he would never come back, ever, Brett himself, footballs Ironman, alluded a few days ago that he would like to return to the NFL. During his time away from the game, albeit short, he apparantly went completely apesh#t, driving around in tractors with a hockey mask on, killing cows, goats, chickens, she-bears, and other innocent yet feral animals with his bare hands to prove that he still “had what it took”.

But the mindless slaugher of warm-blooded beasts wasn’t enough. Alone with his trophies and aging man-like body, the legend of the gridiron began to wonder if a return to the pigskin playing field wasn’t the right medicine.

Tiger Woods Retires

Tiger woods has been surrounded by hype his entire life, but somewhere deep down I never bought it.  Call me crazy, but something about Nike’s face man staring down overmatched opponents on long stretches of rye grass never seemed to paint that imposing of a picture.
So it came as no surprise when I happened upon [...]

Deportes de Peligroso

Ok, it’s time, let’s finish this thing.
Dodgeball, the sport of danger.  Where rubber balls are flung like knives at so many unsuspecting sideshow freaks.  Crowds shudder, popcorn is sold, nations are eliminated and the vultures of relegation circle overhead.
Where did I leave off?  Oh yeah, restrictions and the selection of teams.  Here goes…All nations would [...]

El Dia de la Pelota de Muerta

Where did I leave off?  Oh yeah, world conquest, Ben Stiller Dodgeball style.
 War gets us nowhere, save dead.  Dodgeball gets us somewhere.  Like its billing in the self-titled film, it’s better than World War 2 and the World Cup combined.  We laughed at that, we scoffed even.  We guffawed at the idea of a sport [...]

…And Dodgeball for All

I stood up in my classroom this morning and blindly led my seventh grade students in the pledge.  A daily occurence in classrooms across America, the Pledge of Allegiance could be described as a half-hearted effort at best, and a tad more accurately as a sham.  Not a “wool getting pulled over our eyes” kind [...]

The Inherent Flaw of Fandom

I am a fan.
And I live by the fan’s creed.
Cheer for something. Cheer for some person. Cheer for some event. Just cheer. Just believe. Competition must be cared about, because if it isn’t then it decreases in quality, and no one wants sports to do that.
I see competition everywhere. David vs. Goliath, loved it. Rudy, [...]

John Elway – Man or 8-bit Deity

I am a man.
And parts of my life will suck worse than others.
And one day, I will die.
John Elway is also a man.
And parts of his life have sucked worse than others.
But John Elway will never die.
Somewhere amidst the sprawling Denver pavement of one of his many used car dealerships the ever cheapening toothy grin [...]