Best Jobs in the US

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Many people work.  Many of those people hate their jobs.

Many humans dread the soul-sucking drudgery that is the very means to their existence.  The lifeblood to their addiction to hooch, snuff, twinkies, diet Coke, and all the rest.

Man was not born to work.  He was born to rule, or at least to believe that the work he was forced partake in ruled.  And so a panel of millions and millions of voters (or one) have nominated the following jobs as the all time greatest jobs in the history of the United States.

BEST JOBS IN THE US

10.) Krispy Kreme Delivery Guy – come on, think about it, how many doughnuts does this guy get for free each year?
        It’s like winning the lard lottery every day.

9.) Stunt Double for Jack Nicholson – Wait a minute, what action films does Nicholson make?  Oh yeah, none.

8.) Counter Midget for Burger King – Come one, admit it, when you read the word midget you started laughing!

7.) Ninja Assassin – Sure, the pay sucks and your life is constantly hanging by a thread, but where else can you carry a Samurai sword and lop heads off for fun?

6.) Chris Farley Impersonator – I know, I know, he’s dead.  Isn’t he?

5.) Dog catcher in San Fran’s Chinatown – Oh yeah, there’s money to be made in this one!

4.) Wall Street Broker – Sure, there’s no money in it anymore, but still, don’t the words Wall Street sound cool?

3.) President – Obama’s doing the job now, and Bush was before him, but really, anybody who runs can do it.

2.) Cat Urine Scent Detector – As if cats weren’t evil enough, imagine rubbing their faces in their own urine and living to tell about it.

1.) Slaughterhouse Floor Scrubber – You’ve always dreamed of being smattered in bloody bovine bile as your ears are deafened by the slurp of your motorized vaccuum, praying that your boss doesn’t traipse into the room and demand you to scrub it down again!

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