History, or perhaps man, has produced monsters since the dawn of time.
The Hydra
The Werewolf
Dracula
The Loch Ness Monster
Bigfoot
Creatures of such mythic lore, that to actually debate their existence is as trivial as questioning the rights of Southern Malaysian pygmies to eat the magic eggs of the largest meerkat in the village.
These creatures exist. And they rock. And if we never find them, in the end who gives a rat’s #ss, because we created them didn’t we, and isn’t that good enough.
But somewhere along the way a mistake was made. Somehow the state of New Jersey felt shafted, felt left out of the inside joke that is the mythical beast, so they went and created perhaps the worst monster of all time, the Jersey Devil.
In fairness, this is New Jersey we speak of, and to truly expect an ounce of greatness from a state made famous mainly because it flanks the metropolis of Manhattan to the south would be ridiculous.
But nonetheless they created the devil, a strange, winged goat beast that resides in the trees.
I mean come on! A goat with wings? Why not Googonkula, oddly misshapen ooze beast hatched from the sewers of New York. Or Rodney, yankified jokel of the north that prides himself in his ability to live above the Mason-Dixon line.
In a recent worldwide poll, citizens from China to Canada were asked to rank the 5 worst monsters in the history of the world. The results were as follows:
5.) Ching-Chat-Chu – Ancient Chia-Pet Demon of the Pacific Realm
4.) Promthompsuous – Dance Afflicted Spanish spectre of Teguicalpa
3.) Lu Bing – Korean Wharf Rat rumored to be the size of an F-16
2.) Borushkanuma – Lithuanian she-yak of the hills
1.) The Jersey Devil - Demonical Flying goat of the Northeastern US
Voters don’t lie, and polls exist to expose frauds. The Jersey Devil is a has been, a washed up fear monger in a world that passed him by. For shame to whatever misgiven lad traipsed a wood late one night some two and half centuries ago, and upon startling some hapless wild animal just so happened to be frightened into rushing home, crying wolf, and thus creating the lamest monster ever!
