Brett Favre Returns to NFL!!!

Brett Favre is back! Or is he? Or isn’t he?

Only a few short months after claiming that he would never come back, ever, Brett himself, footballs Ironman, alluded a few days ago that he would like to return to the NFL.  During his time away from the game, albeit short, he apparantly went completely apesh#t, driving around in tractors with a hockey mask on, killing cows, goats, chickens, she-bears, and other innocent yet feral animals with his bare hands to prove that he still “had what it took”.

But the mindless slaugher of warm-blooded beasts wasn’t enough.  Alone with his trophies and aging man-like body, the legend of the gridiron began to wonder if a return to the pigskin playing field wasn’t the right medicine.

“I saw things, I did things, I became someone I wasn’t proud of! I ate rodents out of KFC dumpsters, chased children from their parents, and threw hand grenades at crippled puppies.”

Yet apart from this dark and brief chapter for Brett, another brief chapter apparantly looms, his return to the NFL.  The Packers have made it known that they’re ready to move on, and should Favre return it would likely have to be to another team.  Cheeseheads everywhere may lament such a move by the organization, especially since Favre had a surprising return to form last season in leading the Pack to the NFC title game, but that’s the past. 

The future is this: Brett is back.  He wants back in.  Like Bush running for a second term, or seeing another Clinton on the ballot in ‘08, it seems most Americans are a little wary this time.  It seems the excitement has died down.  Kids no longer roam the backyards of America, tossing foam footballs and dreaming of being a young Brett, tossing a bazillion interceptions and a rare TD here and there, and then thinking they’re god just because they won one lousy Super Bowl.  No the general public has indeed tired of Brett Favre, and I think rightfully so.  When he was caught on film last Wednesday, lighting beaver’s farts off of HWY 143 in rural Mississippi, all he could say was, “Ain’t this cool!” Yeah, Brett, yeah it is, and so is the idea of you retiring on top.  So do fans everywhere a favor, keep on playing pranks out there in the cornfields, and leave the real game to the younguns!