Jesse Jackson = Moron

Hasn’t Jesse Jackson lectured countless people on their lack of morals?
Hasn’t Jesse Jackson been an outspoken voice in the media for about 200 years now?
Hasn’t Jesse Jackson had an opinion on every topic from landing on the Moon to sequels of The Land Before Time?
Didn’t Jesse Jackson die a few years ago?
Did they somehow bring [...]

Iran Launches Missiles to Scare Free World

In a blatant show of disrespect for every nation out there that could completely annihilate them, Iran launch 9 tactical warheads today.  No matter that each warhead could barely cover the 753 yards needed to cross the Israeli border, or the fact that 3 of the warheads actually “looked scared” upon soaring higher than 1,000 [...]

Beautiful Babies…Yeah…Right…

Below are some of the most beautiful human infants ever.  You may be jealous.  You may weep like a child.  You may pray that your eyes are gouged out by vicious street bandits and that for the remainder of your feculent life you are never forced to gaze upon creation again.  Or you may simply chuckle and [...]

Skunk Ape signs Record NBA Contract

In breaking news today, a skunk ape, an elusive marsh yeti living in the southeastern wetlands along the Louisiana coast, signed a record NBA contract with the New Orleans Hornets.
Nature creates many beasts.  Some are clearly purposeful, like the bullet hen, the coal monkey, and the cash cow, but others prove far more fruitless for the [...]

Brett Favre Returns to NFL!!!

Brett Favre is back! Or is he? Or isn’t he?

Only a few short months after claiming that he would never come back, ever, Brett himself, footballs Ironman, alluded a few days ago that he would like to return to the NFL. During his time away from the game, albeit short, he apparantly went completely apesh#t, driving around in tractors with a hockey mask on, killing cows, goats, chickens, she-bears, and other innocent yet feral animals with his bare hands to prove that he still “had what it took”.

But the mindless slaugher of warm-blooded beasts wasn’t enough. Alone with his trophies and aging man-like body, the legend of the gridiron began to wonder if a return to the pigskin playing field wasn’t the right medicine.

Tiger Woods Retires

Tiger woods has been surrounded by hype his entire life, but somewhere deep down I never bought it.  Call me crazy, but something about Nike’s face man staring down overmatched opponents on long stretches of rye grass never seemed to paint that imposing of a picture.
So it came as no surprise when I happened upon [...]

California Fires earn state “Hell on Earth” Title

Ravaged by blazes that have consumed nearly half of the state’s entire land area, the prince of darkness himseld, Satan, was happy to announce that California will henceforth be renamed as “Hell on Earth”.
With a trademark rasp in his voice and an unmistakle aura that seemed to scream “don’t trust me”, the man in red had [...]

Faceless Alien Couples – Who Dat Be?

WOW!  At first this freaked me out, then I thought about it, got more freaked out and stopped looking at the pictures.
Recently, at a number of high profile events, photographers have captured what appear to be people WITHOUT FACES.  I kid you not.  Go to the Drudge Report and check the article about “Faceless Couples” [...]

Man Wallops Wax Hitler

Hitler died decades ago.  Yet for a brief instant he was poised to sit, fully clad in Nazi get up, in the heart of Berlin yet again.  Fate would deem the the second go around a far shorter ordeal for the German people than the all too unforgettable first.
Der Furher is head of state no [...]

Indiana Jones 4 = Indy 5 – The Drawn out Nap

Indy is back.  Or he was, a few weeks ago.
Yes, there traipsing across the screen was perhaps the most legendary Lucas/Spielberg creation to ever actually exist. Indiana Jones.  The whip wielding white guy who finds stuff that God tries to hide, then to some degree figures out its secrets, then manages to barely stave off [...]