Narwhales: Beastish Buffoon or Mangled Mermaid

I remember the stories my father would tell me when I was young. Tales of salivating, hulking, soul-sucking beasts that existed only to torture the corpulent youth of Meso-America. And somewhere in those rambling tales of debauchery and Cheez-It induced halucinations, he happened across a word that was forever lodged in my brain, mermaid.
A mermaid [...]

Siamese Cat or Lord of Darkness?

I live a life of quiet solitude.
A cat lives a life of quiet solitude.
But we are not the same.
I dance maniacally to the rhythm of a song that exists only in my head.
Cats dance maniacally to the rhythm of a song that exists only in their head.
Be we are not alike.
No, my brother, the rift [...]

Should Men Fling Poo?

Lard is a word.
Like all words it has a meaning.
I know the meaning of the word lard.
In no way do I find this impressive.
Poo is a word.
Like all words it has a meaning.
Good God do I know the meaning of the word poo, and in the vast cavernous regions of my ably firing brain I [...]